The Contra Dictionary

Christmas at the Zoo

2011-12-22T18:26:00.001-08:00

Is one of my favorite songs by the Flaming Lips.

But I digress...

Here are some pics from our recent trip to the Bronx Zoo.

Draw, pardner.

2011-12-22T18:23:00.001-08:00

Zoo Talkers

2011-12-18T09:13:00.000-08:00

Took Elle to the Bronx Zoo yesterday. It was cold and there were hardly any other visitors. Plus lots of the animals were gone, having been shepherded away to warmer environs. Still, Elle had a great time. She absolutely loves animals (and of course, toys resembling animals, like the Zoo Talkers toys from Fisher Price). Pics of our December zoo adventure to follow soon.

Fall Foto Extravaganza

2011-12-03T07:34:00.000-08:00

Cruising through Pumpkin Town

2011-10-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

Slovenia!

2011-09-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

Elle absolutely loved her trip to Slovenia for Aleks and Ivana's wedding.

Elle confronts Irene

2011-08-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

Elle went down to the South Street Seaport this afternoon to deliver a stern warning to Hurricane Irene.

You leave my new home alone!

Alaskan Moose Attack

2011-08-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

It's a girl thing.

2011-05-22T07:15:00.000-07:00

11 Months

2011-05-11T19:51:00.000-07:00

Elle is 11 months old today. Look at her go!

Mother's Day #1

2011-05-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

Happy 1st Mother's Day to my incredible wife, Leah.

I'm constantly in awe.

9 Months

2011-03-11T21:06:00.000-08:00

Friday marked the 9-month anniversary of Elle's birth. It is incredible how much my life has changed in the time since. Every day with her is a blessing. Her smile -- and oh how she smiles -- just lights up my world.

Stop with the cuteness!

2011-01-19T16:53:00.000-08:00

And a happy New Year!

2010-12-31T21:51:00.000-08:00

1-1-11.

Still can't believe we don't have flying cars.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-26T19:08:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from Elle!

Family photo outing -- Part II

2010-11-11T19:47:00.001-08:00

As promised, here are some more pics from our family photo outing last month.

Elle takes to the air!

2010-10-18T17:00:00.001-07:00

Elle loves to ride the swings in the playgrounds along the esplanade in Battery Park City.

Family photo outing

2010-10-15T08:03:00.001-07:00

Last weekend Leah, Elle and I had a little family photo shoot in TriBeCa courtesy of Leah's friend Carissa Leigh. Check out a sampling here. Will post more pics later.

And now for something completely rational

2010-09-18T07:58:00.000-07:00

I too hate pennies. I also used to own stock in Jarden. If I can sever my ties to Jarden, so too can the U.S. Mint.

The world is her oyster

2010-09-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

Today we took Elle to her three-month appointment at the pediatrician. She continues her torrid pace of growth, tipping the scales at 15 lbs 2 oz and measuring 26 inches tall. That puts her in the 95th and 101st percentiles, respectively. So she's, shall we say, a "big girl."

After her appointment we took Elle to get her first U.S. passport. She was so pale that they had to take multiple photos, and still couldn't get her to look less ghostly. Although they thought something might be wrong with the camera or the printer, after thoroughly checking the settings for both, it turns out Elle is just some ephemeral phantasm. Let's hope the U.S. State Department will issue passports to ghosts.

Krejickg

2010-09-17T09:30:00.001-07:00

Apparently, this collection of letters has not yet been indexed by Google. How about . . . now?

Rockin' and a Rollin'

2010-08-30T18:16:00.001-07:00

Today Elle rolled over for the first time. Twice! I mean, it's not like she completed the Times crossword puzzle or anything, but still. I was impressed.

Steppin' Out

2010-07-31T15:17:00.000-07:00

From the moment she arrived in NYC, Elle has been a girl on the go. Of course she's spent a lot of time on the subway - her favorite line is the Lexington Avenue Express -- and has been all around Manhattan in her stroller. If you are in town, you'll most likely find her cruising along the esplanade in Battery Park City.

Here are just a few of the many places she's graced with her presence:

-Manhattan
-The American Museum of Natural History
-SHO Shaun Hergatt
-Ilili
-Churascaria TriBeCa
-Marc Forgione
-Shorty's .32
-Shake Shack
-Ulysses
-Walkers
-The Black Sheep

-Brooklyn
-Yashar Gallery (Megan Cedro: A Wonderful Tragic Life)
-Mast Brothers Chocolate

-Coney Island
-Nathan's
-The Cyclone (well, she watched me and Leah ride, anyway)

-Centre Island

-Hampton Bays

Tubby La-Roo

2010-07-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

Elle had another visit to the doctor today. She tipped the scales at 10 lbs, 10 oz., and was 22 and 1/2 inches long. What a tubby la-roo!

Aside from her bulging girth and the pesky baby acne she's currently plagued by, the other Elle news to report is that she is really getting around to see the city. Last week we took her (along with Leah's parents and sister) out to dinner for Lebanese at Ilili and then to Churrascaria TribeCa from some Brazilian rodizio. She loved it! Well, not she didn't eat the food, but she sure enjoyed the atmosphere.

On Friday night we took her to Greenpoint to see her first gallery exhibition. Although the artwork by Megan Cedro (Michael Mast's girlfriend) was supposed to be the star of the show, Elle did her best to steal the limelight. What a diva!

Father's Day weekend

2010-06-22T09:27:00.001-07:00

Elle's first week

2010-06-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

More Elle photos

2010-06-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

In what is sure to become the primary feature of this blog, here are some more pictures of baby Elle.

Elle comes home

2010-06-14T14:51:00.001-07:00

After all the drama and trauma of Friday's delivery, we are happy to report that Elle is home and doing exceptionally well. She had her first check-up today with the pediatrician and she weighed in at 7 lbs 13 oz -- she has only lost 1 oz! She is a super eater and sleeper, a big time mover and shaker (man is she strong!), and thankfully she has yet to unleash any crying fits upon us. She has just been a joy.

Here are some pics from the past few days.

Elle Emory Hansen

2010-06-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

At 4:11 pm this afternoon Leah and I welcomed our wonderful daughter Elle Emory Hansen into the world. Needless to say, we could not be more excited. Elle arrived weighing 7 lbs 14 oz and was 21 inches long. Elle and Leah endured a long, exhausting delivery, and I'm so thankful that they are both recovering well. Elle had a little trouble breathing when she came out and will have to spend some time in the NICU, but already her breathing is vastly improved and it looks like she will be just fine. For her part, Leah looks like she went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson circa 1987; her eyes are nearly swollen shut after the fierce pushing she had to do to bring Elle to us all.

It was an amazing labor -- Leah's water broke around 8 pm Wednesday night, we hung around the apartment and watched Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, then walked down Wall Street and into the hospital around 4 am Thursday morning when her contractions were about 4 minutes apart, and then . . . things slowed down. It wasn't until sometime around 6 pm Thursday night that the contractions really started becoming painful for her. She got an epidural around 2 am this morning (which helped immensely!) and started pushing in earnest around 2 pm. It was a long, difficult process and I am so proud of Leah and Elle for the strength they've shown throughout.

(The proud parents on their way to the hospital)

Leah and I are now relaxing in a private room at NYC's Downtown Hospital and will try to get some rest while Elle does the same in the NICU. We should be able to hold her more tomorrow, so we will be dreaming of that as we go to sleep tonight.

Thanks to everyone for your love and prayers. We'll keep you posted on Elle's progress in the days ahead.

Up for air

2010-05-23T09:27:00.000-07:00

I'm finally coming to the end of the most grueling 9-month ordeal I've ever had to endure. The past month has been particularly trying, with many sleepless nights (literally) and many more offering up a paltry 3 hours or less. And of course, none of this has anything to do with the baby set to arrive any day. While Leah has seen her belly enlarge along with her general level of discomfort, she's had to tackle the pains and peculiarities of pregnancy with only intermittent glimpses of yours truly. It has not been fun for either of us. But soon enough these labor pains will cease and baby will arrive to save us from our recent hardships and deliver us new and entirely more rewarding hardships -- as well as indescribable joys. We are so excited to meet the newest member of our family and will do our best to provide a proper introduction to you as well. We thank you for your support -- and please stay tuned.

The Hare Club for Men

2010-04-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

So Easter came and went. I used to spend Easter at my grandparents' house in Cedar Rapids. We would have an Easter egg hunt and then eat some deviled eggs and a ham. I've never been a big fan of ham, but those Easter hams always seemed to taste better than the typical ham. Was probably because my tongue was coated with jelly beans.

This year I spent Easter at the office working on an offering memorandum for a client's upcoming high yield bond offering. Not the same memory as jelly-bean flavored ham.

In more positive news, my friend Shaun and I won our fantasy basketball league on Sunday. Left for dead in the face of a seemingly insurmountable deficit at mid-week, we stormed back to take the crown. Sweet Easter. Sweet resurrection.

Finally, if you haven't seen this South Park episode exposing the Hare Club for Men, you should. It's quite clever.

No more biting

2010-03-13T07:01:00.000-08:00

'Dem's da rules, yo.

Spent last night and this morning with Leah watching three young kids (two 3-year olds and one 18-month old) at their large TriBeCa loft while the parents took the night off to go to dinner and stay uptown in a hotel by Central Park. The loft is in a posh area on a cobblestone street lined with galleries. In other words, it's very nice, if occasionally loud (the lead singer for the Scissor Sisters lives in the loft below them). The loft has plenty of space to play mini-basketball, soccer, ride scooters, crash them into things, play with rubber sharks and Hot Wheels -- what destructive fun! It's sorta like being in Tom Hanks's place in "Big" except with shorter ceilings and no trampoline.

As for the kids...well, they are kids. They are loud, messy, occasionally bite each other and have to be put in time out, and are just plain ridiculous. Jackson, the 3-year old, has a chart called "Jackson's Poop Chart." After he takes a dump in the toilet he gets to put a sticker on the chart. I'm thinking of making one for Leah.
Leah watches these three regularly and does a great job of maintaining order and keeping them entertained. I don't know how she does this day after day. And I absolutely don't know how I'm going to do it day after day come June. Uh oh...the whining and crying is starting in the background. Better get off the computer and do my part to help out.

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T17:48:00.001-08:00

Leah and I have had a very nice, relaxing Valentine's Day. We had brunch at North Square in Greenwich Village right next to Washington Square Park. Afterward we took a leisurely walk through the village, SoHo, and TriBeCa on our way home. Played some Super Mario Bros. on Wii. Read a New Yorker article on the Tea Party movement out loud to the baby (weird, but true). And then for dinner we had some chorizo and olives, a salad of baby greens, and delicious Greek-spiced baked shrimp and feta. Mmmm. I will definitely make that again. Top it off with some Max Brenner chocolate fondue accompanied by strawberries, bananas and blackberries for dipping and we you have yourself a satisfying Valentine's Day.

Hawaiian Times

2010-01-31T08:57:00.000-08:00

Leah and I recently had the pleasure of spending a week in Hawaii with her brother Cole and his wife Heidi. We spent the majority of the time in Kauai at a Mariott timeshare that Heidi's parents own. Well, we didn't really spend much time at the timeshare, nice as it was. Our days there were filled with hikes through beautiful trails, some of which finished at the bottom of cascading waterfalls, others at the rim of Waimea Canyon (otherwise known as the Grand Canyon of the Pacific). We explored caves, kayaked, ziplined, picked and ate java plums, strawberry guavas and even coffee cherries. We went to a spectacular luau. And of course we caught some rays at the beach while surfing and boogie boarding in the Hawaiian surf.

(On a side note, when did Hawaii become Hawai'i? When I was growing up it was Hawaii, but in recent years I've seen it spelled as Hawai'i. I don't mind the change, which I assume dovetails better with the native pronunciation, but I would appreciate it if there would be some consistency with the usage going forward. For example, if you click on the "Kauai" link above, you'll notice that the official tourism website employs both spellings -- at the top of the site it says "Hawai'i The Islands of Aloha" and then below it says "The people of Hawaii would like to share their islands with you." Come on, people. Let's get this settled.)

Connecticut is for mappies

2010-01-10T15:28:00.000-08:00

They're no longer young, no longer urban, but they're still professionals. Where do these middle-aged professionals go? Connecticut. Leah has spent the past week watching four kids in Greens Farms while their mappie parents are off hitting the slopes. The parents are great people (we took over their old apartment in our building when they moved to Connecticut), and their house here is amazing . . . but I feel like I'm in a perpetual Lexus commercial here.

It's been a tough week for both of us -- Leah doing her best to herd these little mongrels and me pounding the keys through some late nights at the office. I finished with a flourish of 26 straight hours between Friday to Saturday morning. After days like that, it's kinda nice to retire to a Lexus commercial in the country. That said, I've only been here for 6 hours and I'm already aching to get home. But I think that has more to do with the incessant shrieks bleated out by the minors who treat me like a jungle gym.

As a side note, I just realized that it's 1.10.10. Or 10/1/10 if you mark time like the Europeans. That's fun. How am I going to celebrate this special occasion? With a couple of ibuprofen. Lovely.

2010: The Year We Make Contact

2010-01-03T13:34:00.000-08:00

Looking back

Like the decade that preceded it, 2009 was lacking in many things. For The Contra Dictionary, 2009 was most noticebly lacking in posts. Even those posts which did manage to find their way into the boundless, blathering forest of the blogosphere were, to put it lightly, devoid of creativity, wisdom, insight and, above all, effort. Perhaps it was the absence of drunken, lonely nights (or whatever else it is which precipitates blog postings). But I can assure you it wasn't due to the overwhelming stresses of the job. The past 12 months saw my billable hours decline for the second consecutive year -- a worrying trend, if not a disturbing one. Maybe I'm just more efficient. Maybe it's because I'm more senior and don't have to log so many hours doing the grunt work. And maybe it's because the private investment fund industry hasn't been able to raise capital for new funds quite as well as it's been able to raise returns for existing investors. If I had to guess, I'd say it's probably some combination of the three, with my "efficiency" coming in a distant third. My hope, and indeed my expectation, is that things will pick up in 2010. And while that would be a good thing in terms of my professional development (and earnings) prospects, it would likely cut into my time at home with Leah and the newest member of the Hansen clan. Oh well. The kid's tuition bills won't pay for themselves. (Or will they?)

To recap some of the recent events of 2009:

-Moved from 15F to 19B, with generous assists from Shaun Reader and Brix Dillman;

-Had Thanksgiving dinner in Manhasset with Leah's brother Cole, his wife Heidi and her parents Larry and Debbie Romer;

-Hung out in NYC with:
1. Caryn and Kyle;
2. Marty Burchett; and
3. Bryce and Lynn;

-Traveled to Portland, Oregon and spent Christmas with Leah's family.

-Returned home to a cold but welcoming NYC, ate Ethiopian food, and smiled at our good fortune.

Thanks so much to all our family and friends, who have blessed us with their company, their well wishes, and of course, their hard-earned cash.

Seriously, though, as we say goodbye to the '00s, we give thanks for the wonderful people who have shared the journey with us and we look forward to the adventures to come. Speaking of which...

Looking ahead

2010 will be a year of big changes for me and Leah. First and foremost will be the birth of our child. Although we could find out on Monday whether that child will be a boy or a girl, Leah "likes surprises" so the kid's gender will remain shrouded in mystery until June, at which point it will hopefully remain covered by clothing of some sort. I'm guessing something with monkeys on it.

What other changes are in store in 2010? With the housing market still beaten down, is it time to consider buying a place before prices (and interest rates) rise? And what new challenges await the legal and financial markets in 2010? November brings a fresh spate of congressional elections; will the tea bagger shenanigans from this summer translate into Republican gains in the fall? And lastly, will Iowa beat Georgia Tech in the Orange Bowl?

The answers to these and many other vexing questions will have to wait. For now, I'm content to bundle up, drink some of the Bailey's that Brix and Gwen have generously bestowed upon us, and prepare myself to learn the answer to the first of many mysterious presented in the new year: can the New York Jets make the NFL playoffs?

Expected D-Day 2010

2009-12-03T15:26:00.001-08:00

New Address

2009-11-15T07:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, with a little help from our friend Shaun, we moved our belongings 4 floors up to the 19th floor and into our deeeluxe apartment in the sky-eye-eye. We now have a bedroom, views of the Hudson River, and - get this - wireless Internet. Yes, this was a monumental day. We're still moving stuff around this morning, and we'll be making a run to IKEA to round out the decor (and of course we need to do some cleaning in good ol' 15F) but I'll try to post some pictures of our new abode in its provisional state soon.

Or not soon.

More sports talk

2009-11-05T17:57:00.000-08:00

In addition to enjoying the recent success of team University of Iowa Football Hawkeyes, Leah and I have been enjoying the exploits of some of New York's local sports teams. Thanks to the generosity of uncle Curtis, we've been following the Knicks closely, scoring tickets to Monday's win against the Hornets and Wednesday's loss against the Pacers. Brix joined us at Monday's game but not Wednesday's, so I can only conclude that Brix is the Knicks' good luck charm.

In other local sports news, the New York Yankees won their 27th World Series title last night, defeating the Philadelphia Phillies in game 6 by a score of 7-3. Of course, there will be a ticker-tape parade in front of our apartment tomorrow to celebrate the champions. This will be the second ticker-tape parade we've seen since moving to New York, the first being the one thrown for the New York Giants following their Super Bowl victory over the New England Patriots in February 2008.

The net result of all this? I'll probably be late to work. Stupid crowds...

This Hawkeye Football Team is Ridiculous

2009-10-31T12:27:00.000-07:00

9-0. And totally, completely ridiculous. Week in, week out, they win. In improbable, mind-boggling fashion, every time. They just win. It drives me absolutely crazy. I love it.

To illustrate, just read the recaps of their games thus far:

Northern Iowa

Iowa State

Arizona

Penn State

Arkansas State

Michigan

Wisconsin

Michigan State

Indiana

Absolutely stunning stuff.

Less than stunning is the video I took on my BlackBerry of the start of the Iowa-Michigan game earlier this year:

I couldn't stop shivering the entire game. I had lost my camera about an hour earlier. And the Hawks almost gave the game away in the 4th quarter. Nevertheless, I left Kinnick Stadium with a big smile on my face.

Hawks beat Wisconsin, go to 7-0

2009-10-17T12:23:00.001-07:00

Had a great time watching the latest Hawkeye victory with my sister Caryn, her husband Kyle, and friends Shaun and Kelly. Once again it wasn't the prettiest performance, but the Hawks leave Camp Randall with a victory and go to 7-0 on the season. This team can be maddening to watch, but they keep coming out on top. Do I dare to dream of the Rose Bowl? I do.

October already?

2009-10-03T06:07:00.000-07:00

Indeed. Halloween costume shops are taking over empty storefronts, pumpkin is showing up on locavore menus throughout the city, and, well, the air has gotten downright chilly this past week. But with the Iowa football team rolling through its opponents, the Jets off to an impressive 3-0 start, and the Yankees cruising into the postseason, it looks like fall has brought a bountiful harvest of sporting success to my current and former local teams. (Okay, so I've become more of a Mets fan then a Yankees fan since my move to NYC, but I support the Yankees when they aren't in a Subway Series or playing the Giants and I'm looking forward to witnessing another ticker tape parade go by my front door this fall.) Let's hope I didn't just jinx all those teams . . .

In addition to excellent sports, this fall has brought out some excellent peeps. (That's short for people, mom.) Leah and I have enjoyed some great company recently, as Brix Dillman, Mike Mast and Megan Cedro crossed the Hudson and East Rivers, respectively, to join us for the Iowa - Arizona game, Brix crossed the Hudson again last weekend for the Iowa - Penn State game, and Mike Michon crossed the entire friggin' country as he flew from San Francisco to join us in the city for a few days this past week. More on Mike's visit later.

Today, I'm looking forward to catching up with as many Hawk fans as possible (including Brix and Andrew Sawyer) at Opal, the bar where the New York Metro Iowa Club gets together to watch Iowa games. Let's hope Iowa focuses in on Arkansas State and leaves Kinnick with the expected W. After the game I'm off to get in a final sail of the season with my friend and colleague Shaun Reader. Will probably be freezing out in New York harbor, but I'm excited to see how much I remember from my recent sailing course.

Next week I head home to Iowa City for the Homecoming game against Michigan, and the following week Caryn and Kyle will be visiting us here in New York. It's only October, but with all the family and friend reunions its beginning to feel more like Christmas.

postscript: 18 October

Yeah, so, about Mike Michon's visit. Mike is man on a mission, and that mission is fun -- stylish fun. To illustrate, let me recap the Tuesday of Mike's visit. After work I met Mike and some friends of his for a drink at Salon de Ning, the rooftop bar at the Peninsula on 5th Ave. Mike had just come from the Metropolitan Opera, where his friend had given him a backstage tour. After finishing our drinks, I joined Mike, his friend Jack and Jack's girlfriend for dinner at a hidden Japanese bar in NoHo called Bohemian. How did we know about this place, or even score a table? Well, Mike's friend Jack, as you may have seen from the link, is the founder and CEO of Twitter. So he has that going for him. His girlfriend is the concierge at the Standard hotel in the Meatpacking district, which basically means its her job to know the coolest places for everything in the city. And she does. After a delicious meal which included oysters, branzino, BBQ pork buns and some sparkling sake, we headed to Le Souk Harem in Greenwich Village for some hookah action. For a nightcap, we headed to the ballroom at the newly restored Jane Hotel. Apparently the Jane used to be the American Seaman's Friend Society Sailors' Home and Institute, and was built in 1908 as a hotel for sailors. The rooms look like cabins on a ship. Of course they do. Anyway, the place was packed with swanky dudes, their model arm candy, and a roaring fireplace above which a stuffed mountain goat sat and gazed into a disco ball the size of the Death Star. Somehow, I made it home safely. Mike is fun!

Iowa Beats Penn State 21-10

2009-09-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

We own Penn State, we own Happy Valley. Coach Fry loved to call it "Happy Hawkeye Valley." I always thought that was a ridiculous name. Seriously. Can't we come up with anything better? But really, I don't care. We own Penn State. #5 ranking -- whatever. It wasn't pretty, but needless to say I'm excited to see the Hawks move to 4-0. And if you didn't now you know -- we own Penn State.

I'm sailing!

2009-09-20T16:25:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my friend and colleague Shaun and I took a Basic Sailing course at the Manhattan Sailing Club. Shaun's New Year's resolution was to learn to sail, and he persuaded me to join him in his quest. Growing up in Iowa, let's just say that sailing wasn't a popular leisure activity, so this was really my first exposure to the sport. I've always enjoyed being out on the water, but my prior nautical experience centered around water skiing and it really didn't prepare me for sailing a J24 keelboat. It didn't take long to get the hang of it, however, and by the end of the weekend Shaun and I were certified sailors. Ahoy, matey! That's sailor-speak for "why hello, kind sir, how do you do this fine day?" Or something like that. In any event, I'm looking forward to more sailing adventures in the future.

Quogue

2009-09-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

A couple weekends ago Cole and Heidi invited us out to Quogue to spend the weekend with them at the summer house of Heidi's boss, Eliza. We stayed in the guest house on the water and took the boat out for a cruise. It was a lovely weekend. Apparently the house cost something like $40k a month to rent. Good thing we can mooch off Cole and Heidi.

We also biked out to the shore and tried our hand at skimboarding. Cole isn't too bad, but I was a complete failure at it. I'm not a good surfer, but I can at least get up and have a good time trying to catch waves. With skimboarding, I would stay on for 5 seconds max and then the board would go skidding out from under my feet. I really didn't see the appeal. Of course, it's hard to see the appeal in things you are terrible at, but still -- I think I'll stick to surfing. At least when you bite it on a surfboard you don't come crashing down onto the sand.

I gotta get me one of those oxygen tanks

2009-08-28T20:32:00.001-07:00

Sadly, Senator Ted Kennedy died this week. My buddy Jack used to work for the Senator and tells the greatest stories about his time with him in D.C. in the '80s. My favorite goes like this: One day Mick Jagger visits the Senator's office and Ted takes him around to meet the staff. After a few minutes of banter Ted turns to Mick and says, "Now Mick, I see you out there on tour, strutting across the stage like you always have -- you don't seem to have slowed down a bit. But you're not getting any younger; how do you manage to keep your energy up on these grueling world tours?" Mick turns to Ted and says, "Well, Teddy, it's simple really -- a combination of three things. Number one, I have a lot of sex. Number two, I do a lot of drugs. And number three, we have these tanks of pure oxygen that we keep backstage. Whenever we have a break between songs, I head backstage and take a few deep breaths from the oxygen mask and I'm good to go." At this Senator Kennedy nods his head knowingly, turns to Jack and says, "I've gotta get me one of those oxygen masks."

All Points West / Rick & Natasha Get Hitched

2009-08-15T06:51:00.001-07:00

Leah and I went to the All Points West festival in Liberty State Park on the 31st of July. As you can see, the weather was less than ideal. Being the good Girl Scout that she is, however, Leah was prepared. Had $1.99 ponchos for us and everything. I love that woman.

The lineup was excellent. We arrived just as Fleet Foxes were getting started, then saw The National, Vampire Weekend, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and then Jay-Z closed it out. The Beastie Boys were scheduled to be the final act, but they had to bow out following MCA's cancer diagnosis. As much as I'd like to see the Beasties live, at this point in their respective careers I think Jay-Z puts on a more compelling performance. He didn't disappoint on this evening, that's for sure.

In other news, Leah and I joined Ben & Noor Miller in Williamsburg, Brooklyn to witness our friend Rick Mast wed his lovely bride Natasha London-Thompson. The couple were married in a lovely riverside ceremony, the Manhattan skyline rising majestically behind them. Well, technically the East River isn't a river, but whatever. It was a lovely ceremony anyway. Complete with an abandoned Domino Sugar factory next door, the Empire State Building in the background, a Dominican man selling Helados and a man in a Speedo sunning himself on the rocks. So Brooklyn.

After the ceremony, the guests were handed plastic kazoos and other noisemakers and we proceeded through the streets of Williamsburg making a ridiculous ruckus. First wedding parade I've been in, and likely the last. One kid popped out onto his stoop as we passed and retaliated with an air horn. It was a lot of fun. Dinner was at a lovely French bistro, and the after party was . . . well, I'm not sure what it was called, exactly, but it was close to the bistro and next to the highway overpass. Large place, at least three big rooms and a garden, and one of the rooms had a stage. If you saw Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, it's where they go to see Where's Fluffy? the first time and the crappy band shows up instead. BK Pool I think it's called in the movie. If you haven't seen the movie, I don't recommend that you do. Good soundtrack, but that's about it.

Congrats to Rick & Natasha. We wish you all the best.

Short shrift

2009-07-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, I admit it: I haven't done a good job of updating this blog lately (in truth, I've neglected to update it regularly since I left London, but you probably already knew that). I'd like to say it's been because I've been so busy at work, or I've been traveling extensively and haven't had time to sit in front of the computer and report on all of my amazing travels . . . so that's what I'll say. If you don't believe me, well, then maybe you have a trust problem. And I'll tell you, nobody likes a person who constantly blames their problems on somebody else. Jeez.

Since it's almost 1 a.m. on a Tuesday morning and I want to go to sleep, I'm just going to provide an abbreviated list of fun things I've been up to this summer:

1. Flew to San Francisco for the baptism of Steve Winkler and Victoria McGill's daughter Sophia. Incredibly they chose me as her Godfather. Unfortunately the title has not accorded me any greater stature at the pizza joints I frequent in Little Italy.

2. Went to a Mets v. Phillies game with the 42nd president's daughter and her man. That could probably be a full blog post in itself. I went as a stand-in for a big bankruptcy partner at my firm who couldn't attend. The seats were behind home plate and gave us access to the Delta Sky 360 club -- very nice. Chelsea and Marc where a lot of fun to talk to (despite Marc being a big Phillies fan). They were a little late getting to their seats, as Marc forgot the tickets at home and ended up buying some other tickets at the stadium. Around the fourth inning I got in touch with him via e-mail and met him and Chelsea in the Jackie Robinson Rotunda, then proceeded to sneak them past the ushers patrolling the entrance to the club and down to their seats. Never imagined I would need to sneak a former president's daughter into a Mets game, but hey, life is full of surprises. Of course, after all the elaborate "You can come in using my colleague's ticket and then I'll give you my ticket and you go bring Marc in" maneuvering to get into the club, as we were heading to our seats the usher smiles and says "hello Ms. Clinton, nice to see you again."

3. Traveled to Chicago for Ben Miller's bachelor party. We went to a Cubs game. Well, sorta. We rented a roof deck across the street from Wrigley with a view of the game from over the right field wall. Fun times. That completes the entry on Ben's bachelor party.

4. Traveled to Chicago for Ben Miller's wedding. Although he and his lovely bride Noor were married last year, they fled the country before anyone had a chance to throw them a decent wedding celebration. So that was this. And it was also a lot of fun.

5. Leah and I traveled to Iowa City for Travis and Megan's wedding. It was a great wedding, but man was it sweltering -- over 100 degrees and humid as hell. Luckily Leah and I were entrusted with the best job in the whole wedding: sitting in the air conditioned carriage house at the McCurry's and opening the sliding glass door on the balcony behind Travis and Megan so that they could enter the carriage house and descend to Travis's VW bug in the garage. The reception at Brown Deer was great, and the following day we had a wonderful brunch hosted by Mary Eileen Hogan. Then Leah and I joined my parents for a visit to see my grandparents Carl and Ellie in Cedar Rapids. No, they were not named after the characters in Pixar's "Up!"

6. Took the train to Boston with Leah and spent the 4th of July with her friend Jocelyn and her husband Armando. They were gracious hosts and took us on a wonderful tour of the city, were we met up with Adam and Elisabeth Reha. Both Jocelyn and Elisabeth are in the early stages of their pregnancies, yet I think I was the most exhausted person in the group after our extensive walking tour. It is truly depressing how out of shape I am.

5. Drove to Syracuse, then Montreal, for my colleague Andy Smith's bachelor party. That completes the entry on Andy's bachelor party.

There's more, but it's late and I'm tired. Maybe I'll get around to writing some more in the days ahead. Or at least posting some pictures.

Greece

2009-05-15T08:02:00.000-07:00

Leah and I took a trip to Greece. On the trip we took some pictures. Here they are.

Happy Birthday to Me.

2009-04-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

And Matt Bar too! We are each 31 years old today.

Meltdown in the Bronx

2009-04-19T14:01:00.000-07:00

Leah and I made our first trek to the new Yankee Stadium yesterday. As you can see from the pictures, it's an impressive structure. And as you can see from the score -- 22-4 in favor of the visiting Cleveland Indians -- the Yankees did not exactly live up to the majesty of their surroundings. They took a 2-0 lead in the bottom of the first with a home run by Mark Teixiera, and things were looking good. Then the wheels came off. And they rolled around in sh#t and then came back and left streaks all over the Yankees' dignity. By the time the Yankees got the third out to end the top of the second inning, the Indians had blasted their way to 14 runs -- the most ever given up in a single inning by the Yankees. Ever. Wow. Well, at least we got to see a little history.

As impressive as Yankee Stadium is, though, Leah and I both agree that Citi Field is a much nicer place to catch a ballgame. Now, our opinions are no doubt skewed by the amazing seats that we had for the Mets game (and the victory the Mets delivered as opposed to the drubbing taken by the Yanks), but putting those factors to the side, I think it really comes down to Citi Field just being much more open, having more interesting quirks and fan-friendly areas, and just generally coming across as a "friendlier" place to see a ballgame. Don't get me wrong, I'll do my best to scoop up the free tickets my firm is dishing out to both venues, but I'll be more excited for the Mets tickets. Even if Citi Field is lacking an on-site butcher.

Number 500

2009-04-17T20:55:00.000-07:00

Just got back from my second Mets game in as many nights. Tonight was special, as Leah and I witnessed Gary Sheffield hit his 500th career home run in a thrilling 5-4 Mets victory over the Brewers. Sheffield's blast was a pinch hit solo rocket that tied it up at 4-4 in the seventh. Luis Castillo then won it for the Mets in the bottom of the ninth, scoring Carlos Delgado from third with an infield single deep into the hole at shortstop.

Tomorrow we make our first visit to the new Yankee Stadium, so I'll let you know how it compares to Citi Field, but I can say right now it has a steep hill to climb. First of all, our seats for both games were great (4th row behind the home dugout on Thursday night, 16 rows back behind home plate tonight), but tonight we were really spoiled. Our seats gave us access to the Delta Sky360 Club, a lounge and bar from which we could watch the game, order food and drinks and sit in cozy recliners while smiling giddily. The seats themselves were spacious and cushioned -- so comfortable. And the food -- oh the food. The options were fantastic -- burgers from Shake Shack, pulled pork from Blue Smoke, among others -- and available at our seat.

To get the same delicious options the night before, I had to trek all the way out to the Taste of the City area behind the scoreboard in center field and stand in line for almost two innings. Inexplicably, the face value of the previous night's seats were actually more expensive. I mean, they were technically closer to the field and gave us access to the Acela Club overlooking left field, but I much prefer the Delta Sky 360 Club and being waited on from behind home plate. What can I say, I like being spoiled. I didn't want to leave. All in all tonight was easily the best baseball-watching experience I've ever had as an adult. (When I was a kid my grandpa Reeder took me to see the Giants face the Cardinals at the old Busch Stadium; we sat behind the home dugout and there were three successive bench clearing brawls, the first of which was triggered by a hard Will Clark slide into Jose Oquendo to break up a double play. It was my first MLB game and it kicked ass. Nothing like a few good fights to up the excitement level for America's youth.)

Panoramic views of Citi Field

Panoramic views of Yankee Stadium

International Pillow Fight Day.

2009-04-04T12:48:00.000-07:00

This is what I have to endure as punishment for living at the corner of Wall Street and Broadway. Mass Internet-organized pillow fights. Seriously. International pillow fight day. Cops in front of my building and everything. Just ridiculous.

Cheesecake

2009-03-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

This week saw Travis, Mary and Rudy visit New York to rejoice in the obligatory "bachelor party" before Travis gives up his single status for good this June 27th. The festivities proceeded as follows:

Wednesday night:

Dinner at Churascaria Plataforma in Hell's Kitchen. Attendees were Troy, Travis, Mary, Leah and Me. Having consumed untold amounts of meat, we left the restaurant barely conscious as our bodies slipped into a meat-coma.

Drinks and dessert at Hurley's. I think, anyway. It's hard to remember things when you are in a meat-coma.

Thursday:

I went to work. Leah, Mary and Travis went for crepes at Whole Foods in TriBeCa, cruised around downtown shopping, and came back to 71 Broadway to watch the opening round NCAA tournament games. Rudy got in around 3:30 pm and joined in the basketball watching.

Dinner was at Brother Jimmy's on the Upper West Side, accompanied by more March Madness viewing. After Brother Jimmy's we went to Troy's apartment and hung out for a bit, then ventured back out to Blondie's to watch the last of the night's basketball games.

Friday:

I went to work again. Travis had his suit fitting with Troy. Leah, Rudy, Mary and Travis then headed to ESPN Zone for lunch and more basketball watching. I walked over to join them, but when I got there they said it would be a 45 minute wait for a table. That spurred us to walk over to Annie Moore's, an Irish pub near Grand Central that me and my colleagues frequent often. The game-watching environment was not ideal, but we did have some delicious wings and crab cakes.

After lunch I went back to work and the rest of the gang headed back home to watch more games. I met up with them again at Annie Moore's around 6 pm. Apparently the crab cakes lured them back uptown. At this point Leah's brother Cole had joined the group and was dressed in a suit that was about 3 sizes too big for him. Unfortunately (or fortunately) Cole could not join us for the centerpiece activity of the day (box seats at the Knicks v. Kings game, courtesy of Troy) as he had to go home to train for a tryout with the NFL champion Pittsburgh Steelers. Whatever Mr. Big Time, we said. To substitute for his absence I invited my colleagues Aleks and Shaun to make the short walk to Madison Square Garden and hang with us while we waited for Troy to arrive at the arena with the tickets. (Aleks had succeeded in snagging our firm's tickets for the game, and Shaun had graciously agreed to accompany him as his man-date).

Upon Troy's arrival we entered the Garden, and although we initially had some trouble finding our way, we eventually made it to the exclusive VIP lounge set up in the tunnel under the seats. The place was a rather makeshift affair, dark and full of candlelit tables, flat screen TVs showing the NCAA tournament games, food stations serving everything from sushi to prime rib, and of course free beer and wine aplenty. Not the greatest hospitality space I've seen in an arena (that would be at the Prudential Center where the New Jersey Devils play), but still -- very nice. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. Walking out of the tunnel, we headed to the main attraction: our seats.

I truly believe we had the best seats in the entire Garden. Private box, right above the tunnel where the players and Knicks City Dancers come out, TVs by our feet so we could keep track of the first round NCAA games, and a dedicated waiter to bring us the food and drinks of our choosing. I can't gush about it enough. At halftime Troy and I went back to the hospitality area and I nearly knocked Spike Lee's beer out of his hand on the way in because I was blinded by all the Ford models circling the room.

Of course, the "Snickerbockers" (as Leah likes to call them) were playing perhaps their worst game of the season, but not even that could dampen the experience. Incredibly cool time -- big thanks to Troy for making it all happen.

After the game we went to Hurley's for some dessert. Troy and Trav spent about 2 hours in the corner having a heart-to-heart while the rest of us watched Ohio State lose to Siena. As much as I hate Ohio State, the loss really dampened my spirits, 'cause I had them beating Louisville in the next round in my bracket. Oh well. Maybe next year.

Saturday:

Don't really remember. Oh yeah! We went to brunch at the Plaza. Specifically, the Oak Room. Then we walked over to CBS studios and met up with Mary Berdo's freshman year roommate Che. Che is from Brooklyn and just could not stand Iowa (the coaches, the "middle of nowhere" aspect -- all of it, really) and transferred to Fordham almost five minutes after arrival. She's now some kind of assistant director or something at CBS Sports, so she gave us a tour of the studios, let us peek in on Greg Anthony while he analyzed something about basketball (I assume, anyway), and then we hung out in the "VIP" room and watched all the games on a wall of TVs.

Eventually we got hungry and decided to head home, order pizza from Lombardi's and watch the rest of the games from our place downtown. Ah, March Madness and pizza. It was a great way to close out the day.

Sunday:

Everyone went home and Leah and I got to relax and watch a movie. Mission accomplished.

USA! USA!

2009-03-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

If you're like me, you're probably one of the few people following the exploits of Team USA in the World Baseball Classic. Well, we just got treated to an amazing finish to the USA v. Puerto Rico game. Down 5-3 going into the bottom of the ninth, the USA managed to pull out a 6-5 victory to advance to the next round. Oh the drama! Shane Victorino and Brian Roberts led off the inning with back-to-back singles. Derek Jeter then drilled a liner to right, advancing Victorino to third. Roberts stole second and Jimmy Rollins drew a walk. Then Kevin Youklis drew a bases-loaded walk to bring the score to 5-4 in favor of Puerto Rico. Finally David Wright provided the game-winning hit with bases loaded. He must have some Irish in his blood to come up so big on St. Patrick's Day.

March Madness

2009-03-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

I feel emasculated these days. This is chiefly due to my realization that it is my wife, and not me, that wants to watch every second of every college basketball game -- men's and women's -- that is being televised this month. When your wife is more interested in college sports than you are, it can make you feel like less of a man. (Except for when said wife is watching women's basketball; in that case, my reluctance to watch makes me feel more manly. Is that both perverse and discriminatory? Yes. But true nonetheless.)

This would not be such a big deal, except having to watch all this basketball and feeling a little annoyed that I have to do so really made me reflect on how I became so indifferent to college basketball. It didn't take me long to seize upon the answer: Steve Alford. See, my former interest in college basketball emanated from my devotion to University of Iowa men's basketball. Alford absolutely killed my love of Iowa basketball. Just killed it. And when I ceased to care about Iowa basketball, I ceased to care about college basketball in general.

There are other factors at play of course; now that I'm in NYC, I hardly ever catch an Iowa game on TV, so it's hard to develop any affinity for the players. And while I like what I read about Lickliter and the way he handles the team and the media, the bottom line is the team still isn't very good. From what I read they are really young, play hard, and have some guys with a lot of potential, but were snakebitten this year with injuries, suspensions, academic problems and the like. In the end, though, these are just excuses. And having to watch all these other good teams play for conference championships just brings into stark relief how far Iowa has to climb until they even approach a championship-caliber level. It's just depressing. I long for the day when Iowa basketball makes me a fan again -- makes me care about college basketball again. I just fear that day is a long way off.

The Wilcox Family Comes to Play

2009-02-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

My sister Caryn and her husband Kyle visited us here in the city last weekend. Good times, good times. Although their stay was far too short, we were able to do a few things. Here is a list of what we did while they were in town:

Saturday, February 7th:

Leah's friends Amber and Jocelyn left for Anchorage and Boston, respectively, on Saturday morning, so Leah spent the morning seeing them off and saying her goodbyes. Amber had been visiting since January 30, while Jocelyn joined the party on Thursday, February 5. Amber's flight was supposed to leave Newark airport at 8, and Leah and Jocelyn decided they would travel with her to the airport, so they all got up around 5 am (after going to bed the night before around 2 am). Needless to say, Leah was a little tired, so when Caryn and Kyle arrived at our apartment a little before noon, I decided it would be best if Leah took a nap while I showed them the town.

We set off from 71 Broadway and headed down Wall Street, then headed north past the Federal Reserve and then over to the South Street Seaport. From there we headed west to City Hall, Foley Square, the African Burial Mounds and then into TriBeCa to a little Austrian place called the Blaue Gans, one of my favorite brunch spots in the city. After some delicious food and drink we headed north to SoHo, up through Greenwich Village, then turned east and walked over to McSoreley's Old Ale House in the East Village. Once there we were greeted by a line of 30 or so people, so we abandoned that option and walked south to the Lower East Side, where we stopped for some cocktails at Schiller's Liquor Bar. From there we traveled west into NoLita, then south down Little Italy (a/k/a Mulberry Street) and into Chinatown. A few minutes walk south brought us back through Foley Square, past City Hall and back home to 71 Broadway. We found Leah just waking up from her slumber, and after a short rest, we headed to dinner at Ninja.

(Disclaimer: I started this post a while ago. Now that I'm coming back to finish it, I don't really remember what we did on Sunday. Wait! Some of it is coming back to me . . .)

Sunday: I think we went to brunch somewhere. No, no, that's not it. Hmmmm. I think we got up late, then went to Central Park and walked around. Yeah, that's it. We entered the park at the southeast corner, by the zoo, and then exited somewhere around Central Park West and 81st street. We grabbed a late lunch as some crappy Greek place (of course, even crappy Greek food is good), and then headed home. For dinner we went to SushiSamba in the West Village. It's a Latin American-style sushi place, with a lively bar atmosphere and some interesting twists on sushi. Very good, actually.

Monday: I went to work. Leah watched kids. Caryn and Kyle wandered around and then met me for lunch in Murray Hill at Lemongrass Grill, a thai place near my office. Mmmm green curry chicken. We then walked down Park Avenue to Union Square, taking a detour through Madison Square so Kyle could get some photos of the Daily Bugle office building (a/k/a the Flatiron building). At Union Square we said our goodbyes, and I headed back up to work on the subway. Caryn and Kyle did a little shopping, and then eventually headed to LaGuardia around 4 to catch their plane back home.

61

2009-02-02T20:29:00.000-08:00

Before I head off to bed, I want to make it known that I was the only person in Madison Square Garden tonight that found the courage to scream obscenities at the "alleged" sexual predator who paid off his accuser and torched the Knicks for 61 points.

Rapist or not, the man is one spellbinding basketball player.

Still. Still. To hear chants of "MVP" careening through the rafters of the Garden is embarrassing. "Bryant" jerseys everywhere. Sad.

I hear they gave MJ a standing ovation when he dropped 55 on the Knicks after coming back from retirement. Wearing #45 no less. I suppose the MSG crowd appreciates an entertainer. But I'm holding out hope that in the years ahead they'll be giving their love to the home team. Whether it's LeBron, D-Wade or some other superstar free agent signing in 2010, I don't care -- I just want these Knicks fans to have a reason to cheer for the home team!

"Let me get a glimpse of that warlock"

2009-01-05T18:59:00.001-08:00

Seasons Greetings from the Island of Financial Doom

2008-12-15T18:44:00.001-08:00

And . . . boom goes the dynamite

2008-11-08T15:44:00.000-08:00

Iowa 24
Penn State 23

What just happened?

2008-11-05T06:18:00.000-08:00

The Onion calls it.

Yes We Can

2008-11-04T20:08:00.000-08:00

November 4th, 2008. Leah and I woke up early this morning (well, early for us) and voted at the High School for Leadership and Public Service on Church Street in Manhattan, right behind Trinity Church, next door to the American Stock Exchange. Got there at 8 am, stood in line for 45 minutes to cast our votes.

It's my maternal grandmother's birthday. It has been a difficult year for her, but I know she is excited to witness this remarkable day.

Tonight I'm hopeful for the future.

Halloween

2008-11-02T08:23:00.000-08:00

Leah and I spent Halloween with her brother Cole, his wife Heidi and Heidi's sister Kirsten at the Country House in Stony Brook, NY. Supposedly it's haunted. On this night, it was only haunted with weird old folks dancing to a piano singer whose repertoire consisted of . . . surprise surprise, Frank Sinatra standards. Frightening, indeed. Despite the absence of any spectral apparitions, we had a very nice time. The food was delicious, and the company entertaining as always.

Thanatophobia

2008-10-04T13:32:00.001-07:00

Finally, a book I can relate to.

DC for Leah and Me

2008-09-27T19:49:00.000-07:00

9/11

2008-09-11T20:37:00.001-07:00

Client 9

2008-03-11T05:56:00.000-07:00

Sounds like a great name for a band.

Just priceless.

Tales of Wonder and Woe

2008-03-07T15:37:00.000-08:00

Does anyone bother to read these entries anymore? If so, I apologize for the utter lack of blogging effort on my part. I have no excuse for not spending what little free time I have trying to keep you informed about the goings-on in my life. Maybe it's because I have a job and a wife and am in all respects a boring individual that I just gave up on the blog. I don't know. But none of that matters now, because today--TODAY--I'm back at it.

What strange compulsion has drawn me back into the blogosphere? Is it:
(1) A tantalizing tale that must be shared?
(2) A life changing event?
(3) Some new revelation passed to me from on high?
(4) Or maybe, just maybe, complete and utter boredom seasoned with half a bottle of Budini's best Malbec from 2006?

It definitely was not 1-3. Of that I can assure you.

Regardless of the force that ultimately compelled me to type these words, the words must be typed. And these words I'm typing, they tell of adventures far and wide, from Christmas in Alaska to George Washington's Birthday in London. (I refrain from calling it "President's Day" because the last time I did that it precipitated a 20 minute diatribe from Travis Carlson, junior high history teacher extraordinaire, about how there is no such thing as President's Day.)

Um, so...like I said...I spent Christmas in Alaska. I would have preferred to make my first trip to Alaska in the summer, but since Leah's parents live there (and so does her brother Seth and his wife Mandy) and Leah never misses a Christmas with her family, I found myself in Palmer, AK in December.

The gentleman to my left is Seth. We are on our way to go skiing at Alyeska. It's a beautiful ski resort set in Turnagain Arm, with the Pacific Ocean as a backdrop. Apart from Alyeska, I've only skied at Sundown in Dubuque and Aspen in Colorado, so I'm no expert on top ski destinations, but I will say it provides picturesque scenery and plenty of trail options for beginners (me and Leah) and experts (Seth) alike.

While in Alaska we had the pleasure of attending an Alaska Aces minor league hockey game. It was the first hockey game I've seen live, and while I enjoyed the experience, I must say, the skill level left much to be desired. Still, I would like to attend more hockey games in the future -- hopefully Rangers games at the Garden.

In February, Leah and I traveled to London for a week of fun in the sun. Eh, not so much. I had conceived of the trip as an opportunity for us to spend some time in London, for me to reconnect with some of my friends from LSE, and not have to take any vacation time to do it, as I could work out of my firm's London office. Unfortunately, things didn't work out as planned. I ended up having to work crazy hours on a major project in which everyone I was working with was in NYC. And since London is 5 hours ahead of NYC, I was forced to work late into the night, effectively killing every evening of our trip save for two.

Compounding our woes were the problems Leah experienced with Carrie, the then-girlfriend of my colleague Colby. Colby and Carrie were gracious enough to let us stay with them at their flat in Islington. Colby and I would depart for work every morning, leaving Leah and Carrie to their own devices. Being a visitor, Leah wanted to go out and experience London to the fullest extent; problem was, Carrie is one of those "high-maintenance" girls. And I mean that is about as mild as I can phrase it. 4 hours + to get ready, can't walk more than 2 blocks without having to stop because her feet hurt (wear something other than 4" heels, lady!)...needless to say, she is the exact opposite of Leah. Bless her, Leah did her best to put a brave face on the whole ordeal, but, in short, the trip sucked. I barely got to see any of my friends, had to work crazy hours, and Leah had to spend most of the week trapped in a flat in North London with a crazy woman. A vacation it was not.

Still, London was not a total loss. Leah, me, Colby, Carrie and my LSE friend Ben Stacke (who lives in London with his wife and works as an associate for Sidley, Austin, Brown & Wood LLP) did get to have a very nice dinner at Mestizo in Camden with my friend Ben, and a fun night out drinking/dancing at some ritzy place in Marylebone with Ben and his wife (and Hugh Grant). Okay, I didn't actually see Hugh Grant, but I did hear from multiple sources that he was at the club attending a birthday party. This actually marks my second London encounter with Hugh (encounter in this context meaning "Hugh Grant and I are in the same 150 square foot area), the first coming back in 2002 when the film "About a Boy" premiered at the Empire theater in Leicester Square. I happened to be passing through the square right when Hugh was exiting the theater and stopped to watch him work the fans in the velvet rope line. Charming. Just an unbelievably charming...tosser, I believe is the appropriate British term.

The Garden Awakens

2007-12-01T12:32:00.001-08:00

Leah and I went to the Knicks game on Friday night. They played the Milwaukee Bucks. The night before, the Knicks lost to the Boston Celtics by nearly 50 points.

Fall Recap

2007-11-04T07:56:00.001-08:00

So much has happened since my last post that I thought I'd do a quick recap of some of the highlights. Here goes:

- Leah and I saw the Jets get dominated by the Patriots in the NFL opener at Giants Stadium. This was the infamous "videogate" game where the Patriots got caught recording the Jets' defensive signals. It was also the game we watched from a luxury box filled with delicious goodies, courtesy of Troy Carlson and the good people at KBW. And to make the day even more memorable, Gisele Bundchen, the Victoria's Secret model, was in the box next to us cheering on her boyfriend, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. For those of you unfamiliar with Gisele, here's a photo of her, ahem, work.

She looks a tad less impressive in person.

The Patriots won, I think. Don't really remember much of what happened on the field.

-We went to the U.S. Open and watched Roger Federer dominate some dude from Spain. Okay, he didn't actually dominate--he lost the first set, was on the verge of losing the second set, then turned it on, broke the Spaniard's spirit (the guy had Federer at set point twice in the second set and Federer just wouldn't lose) and cruised to victory. Very impressive. The coolest thing was that Federer came out in all black and to the Imperial March from Star Wars. What a badass. That's probably the first time in history a Swiss has been referred to as a badass.

-I went to my cousin Abby's wedding in Minneapolis. Abby and her husband Michael are two of the greatest people around. It was a gorgeous ceremony and the reception was a blast. I danced my ass off, as did uncle Ric and Michael's entire family. It was really great to see Abby, Michael, Ric, Shiela and Zac, as well as Byron and Nan and of course my parents. We are all so proud of Abby and Michael and wish them all the happiness in the world.

-I went to my cousin John's wedding outside Cedar Rapids. He and his wife Amanda are another pair of exceptional people who are destined for happiness, and we wish them all the best. They were married on a picture-perfect fall day. It was wonderful to be back home in Iowa and see Grandma and Grandpa Reeder, Steve and Carol, Scott and his wife Amanda (Scott and John are brothers who have a thing for Amandas, obviously), and mom and dad. One thing this fall has reinforced for me is that I am blessed with an amazing family.

-We went to Charleston, South Carolina for the wedding of Leah's friend Jocelyn and her husband Armando. This was a true southern wedding. Delicious crabcakes. An extravagant dinner cruise. Bagpipes. Er, well, not an entirely southern wedding. But a really fun time. Jocelyn and Armando live in Boston and we hope to visit them soon.

-We played paintball out on Staten Island with friends from work as a going-away party for my colleague Colby Jenkins, who is moving to the firm's London office. He's the one in the center with the blue hooded sweatshirt.

Colby gave me a nice goodbye present in the form of welts from a close-range ambush. Ouch. I returned the favor later on, but, sadly, don't have photos of the carnage. On second thought, Colby's a pretty hairy dude, so maybe it's better that I don't have the photos.

-Last but not least, Caryn came out for a visit. She's my sister. She's also crazy. I love my sister! Roar!

Mare Widge

2007-09-04T18:37:00.000-07:00

Leah and I got married July 30th in Santa Barbara.

It is the first marriage for each of us.

Thanks to everyone for their tremendous outpouring of love and support--we are truly blessed to have such wonderful family and friends. For those of you who couldn't join us in California, here are a few snapshots in which we are featured prominently in full wedding dress attire:

Damn you, Megatron!

2007-07-18T16:20:00.001-07:00

So my building exploded today. That was kinda freaky. I was in a conference drawing hedge fund structure diagrams on a white board when a loud explosion bellowed out, the lights flickered, and clouds of smoke came billowing up to the 35th floor windows, caking the windows in soot. That was not a good sign, so I and the rest of my colleagues left. 35 flights of stairs later, I was outside and staring at smoke pouring out from behind the building. Nope, not good at all.

Well, I thought, I'm not going back to work today.

In the rush, I'd left my phone back in my office, so I tried to email Leah and my parents to let them know I was okay. Of course, the system was busy and I have no idea if the email went through. Anyway, as is apparent from this entry, I'm fine.

I have no idea what caused the explosion. As I was walking I heard someone mention something about a transformer. I'm pretty sure that means this was Megatron's doing. Here's hoping Optimus Prime gets his ass on the next flight from Hollywood and puts a stop to this. It's nice to get out of work early, but I'd prefer to do so in a less stressful manner. And via the elevator.

So this is where the Beatles gave their last* concert?

2007-06-24T07:47:00.000-07:00

Today my friend Jorge and I are heading to Shea Stadium in Queens to watch John Maine and his New York Mets teammates put the shackles on the Oakland Athletics. (Is it New York Mets teammates or New York Met teammates? I mean, you wouldn't say "I'm a New York Mets." But the team is the New York Mets, so I'm going with New York Mets teammates on the principle that New York Mets is simply the type of teammates they are, so it isn't really an awkward double plural. Plus I did a Google search of "New York Met teammates" and got a grand total of three entries, all of which were of dubious origin. That's, like, definitive evidence that my approach is correct.)

This entry is already ridiculous. I'll cut it short: Going to the Mets game today. It's my first Mets game. I've been to five Yankees games. I'll compare the two later.

*Excluding the London rooftop gig in Let it Be. Seriously--that doesn't count. It was a surprise freebee. And last "paying" concert just wasn't title-worthy. Of course, having an asterix in the title isn't classy, either, but it's better than using the qualifier "paying". Right? Right? Whatever.

She said Yes

2007-06-05T05:31:00.000-07:00

Leah and I will be getting married July 30 in Santa Barbara, California.

Lazy Sunday in the City

2007-04-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

Thank you

2007-04-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who reached out to me on my birthday; I'm fortunate to have so many great friends in my life. Unfortunately, I myself am pretty crap as a friend (and son, brother, grandson, etc.) and was too busy to talk to anybody. Not that this you'll find this surprising, but still...my apologies. My excuse is that I was at a going-away party for Ray Hum, who'll be leaving the firm soon to head to MoFo in SF. Well, you know how it is--loud music, caught up in conversations...not exactly the best environment in which to talk on the phone. That said, many good friends from work were in attendance and a good time was had by all--me in particular. Nevertheless, my thoughts were with all of you who've been so good to me over the years. Thank you for all your kindness and understanding. I hope you know how much I appreciate all of you.

Okay, that's enough sentimental crap for one blog. Anybody see a good movie lately? 'Cause I sure haven't. Consider this an open solicitation for suggestions. The same goes for music--what's on everybody's playlist? Mine currently contains selections from the following:
1. Albert Hammond, Jr. -- Yours to Keep
2. Bright Eyes -- Cassadega
3. The Apples in stereo -- New Magnetic Wonder
4. Rufus Wainwright -- Want One
5. The Twilight Sad -- EP
6. Peter Bjorn & John -- Writer's Block
7. The Shins -- Wincing the Night Away
8. Of Montreal -- Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
9. Bloc Party -- A Weekend In the City
10. Architecture in Helsinki -- In Case We Die
11. Menomena -- Friend and Foe
12. Swan Lake -- Beast Moans

Okay. Enough for tonight. I'm sleepy. I hope everybody is doing well, and once again, thanks for all the love.

29

2007-04-27T16:23:00.001-07:00

Am I.

To clarify:

2007-04-27T16:18:00.000-07:00

So nobody gets the wrong idea, I didn't take down my posts in response to any directive from the bosses on high--just a little self-censorship. The new policy is basically a combination "no work discussion" (who wants to hear about my work anyway, right?) and a "get the okay from friends before posting about them" policy.

2007-04-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

2007-04-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

2007-04-26T21:04:00.000-07:00

2007-04-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

Disappearing Act

2007-04-26T20:38:00.000-07:00

As you may have noticed, I've taken down some of my posts. Turns out it's not a good idea to talk about your life in a candid fashion on the Internet. Unfortunate, but true. Who knew? Seriously. So that's that. Pretty bummed about it, I gotta say. I mean, the whole point of the blog was to give updates on my life to anyone who was interested so that I could avoid having to write multiple emails. Basically, I blog because I'm lazy. And as the frequency of my blog posts goes to show, I'm even lazy about that. But lazy or not, there are two things I don't want to do with my blog:

(1) piss off my friends; and
(2) get myself fired.

So....there go all the interesting posts, right? Maybe not. I'm gonna try to be better about working within the confines of the medium, whatever that means. For me, it means the posts won't tell you much about my life (because the interesting parts of my life all involve other people, whose feelings may or may not be hurt by my online disclosures). And it means my posts will tell you absolutely nothing about my job. But it also means that I get to be creative about the stories I tell--all fiction or "fictionalized" stories from here on out. Okay, that's not true either. I will just post photos, innocuous stories, and soul-searching confessionals. Makes me want to gag just thinking about it. In truth, I have no idea what I'll write about if I can't write about what I know: me and what I'm doing. So I suppose I'll still touch on those subjects, but will try to do so less recklessly. It's not fun, but it is an "adult" approach, and as I turn 29 tomorrow (Jesus!), I suppose it's about time I adopted and "adult" approach in at least one area of my life. Yeah, you say, nice going Ryan--choose your blog as the one outlet for your maturity. Well. Baby steps. Baby steps.

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T08:04:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a fantastic 2006--I know I did. London, Amsterdam, Rome, Paris, Vienna, Geneva...the year was full of memorable journeys. My sister got married, as did Tim and Nate (though not to each other). Brent and Mel made another baby. My cousins Abby and John each got engaged; so did my friends Jess and Pete (again, not to each other). While I spent the year adding visas to my passport, those around me were busy adding people to their families.

As for 2007, it promises to be a year of change for yours truly. I'll start the year in a new city with a new job; January 22 will be my first day as an associate at the New York office of Curtis, Mallet-Prevost, Colt & Mosle LLP. I'll be in the international corporate department. Needless to say, I'm pretty excited. Now, we'll see how long the excitement lasts--I've been warned that the corporate legal world will suck my will to live. Nevertheless, I've cultivated an immunity to mundanity that will serve me well in the dark moments. Otherwise known as document review. I mean seriously, I read reference books and academic texts for fun. I am not normal.

I've got photos and stories from my recent DC and NYC trips, as well as mementos from the holidays to share, but right now there is college football to watch, so I'll post more in the days to come. For now, I'll just wish you a Happy New Year and all the best in 2007.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T09:41:00.000-08:00

Wishing you and your loved ones the best this Christmas.

Car Trouble

2006-12-09T11:48:00.000-08:00

It's been an eventful past couple of weeks for me. After a wonderful Thanksgiving in Chapel Hill, North Carolina with Caryn, Kyle, and my parents, I returned to a freezing Iowa eager to work off the pumpkin pie by helping set the scene for Jess's dad's run for elective office. The opening stage was in Mount Pleasant, so I drove down to help set up for the potluck dinner campaign kick-off. All seemed to be going well; the local townspeople were enjoying the glare of the national press corps' cameras; the national press corps were enjoying the grease from the local townspeople's casseroles and assorted home-cooked delicacies; I even found the time to sneak away for some delicious pumpkin pie. When the event finished and the junior high gym had been returned to something approximating its previous state, I surveyed the scene and felt a tinge of pride. That went off very well, I thought to myself. The reporter from the LA Times even got a birthday cake. I mean, really, what better way to grease the wheels of publicity than with frosting, candles, and a rousing birthday song rendition?

After saying goodbye to the volunteers and campaign staff, I walked outside through the freezing rain to my blue Jeep Cherokee, scraped the ice off my windshield, and climbed into the seat eager to get home to my warm bed; I would have just enough time to catch a few hours of sleep before returning early the next morning for the official campaign announcement at Iowa Wesleyan. I turned the key and...nothing. Not even a whimper. Ugh. Luckily one of the other volunteers was kind enough to give me a jump. Nevertheless, my oil pressure gauge was rocketing off the charts, and I drove home through the nasty weather worried that I would be stranded by the side of the road in rural Iowa in an area with no mobile service--easy prey for the trucker hyenas. Irrational fear, I know--I'm working on it. Some people are afraid of werewolves, vampires, or Tucker Carlson. Me? I'm afraid of kindly trucker folk.

Fortunately I made it home just fine. The Jeep, I was later to find, simply had a bad battery. But as I had to get up at 5 am the next morning to return to Mount Pleasant, I wasn't going to chance it with the same vehicle. I dropped the blue Jeep off at my parents' place and exchanged it for their white Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Despite the occasion, the next morning began in decidedly unceremonious fashion. I dragged myself out of bed, hopped in the Jeep and stopped off at HandiMart to fill up with gas. It was bitterly cold outside. Cold like I haven't felt in years. Now, the white Jeep has always had electrical problems (the dash computer has flashed "lift open" for years), and I was a tad concerned it might act up on me, but I quickly dismissed my pessimistic thoughts. I'm a lucky guy, after all, historically devoid of car trouble. Last night was surely just an aberration.
Or not. After the 45 minute drive down and a freezing day abandoned in the Iowa Wesleyan gym parking lot, the white Jeep's muffler pipe decided it had had enough. After the lights dimmed and the day's activities were finished, I got in the driver's seat and turned the key expectantly...ROOOOAAAR went the engine. And a fervent roar it was indeed. Far too fervent. Something was clearly not right. I got out, looked underneath, and discovered that the pipe leading to the muffler had detached itself and was now dragging on the ground. Ugh. With a coat hanger and a little ingenuity I jerry-rigged the pipe so it wouldn't drag on the ground. I then sheepishly headed for home, punishing every set of ears within a three block radius along my journey. I tried to comfort myself by speculating that it sounded like a Harley. No. No Ryan. It just sounded obnoxious.

It gets worse. Scared off of long drives with the blue Jeep and with the white Jeep in the shop, I borrowed my parents' Passat to drive to Des Moines for a Vilsack event at the Temple for Performing Arts. The schmoozing was in full effect, the wine flowed freely, the appetizers were amazing...again, everything was going great. The party moved downstairs for dinner at Centro and then over to Ingersoll for drinks at Star Bar, and afterwards I crashed at Jess and Bob's apartment for the night.When I started the Passat up the next morning, I immediately knew something was wrong. I had parked on a slight decline, and although I my foot was on the brake, as soon as I shifted the car into drive it began rolling forward. Ugh. I pushed harder and was able to bring the car to a stop before rear-ending the next parked car. Maybe the brakes just need to warm up, I speculated. After a few circles around the parking lot, I decided to take my chances with the drive home. Although the brakes were still not working well, I could bring the car to a stop if I applied enough pressure and did so far in advance of a stop. Since the trip was gonna be almost exclusively on the highway, barring any sudden accidents in front of me (or an unexpected encounter with an overly ambitious road-crossing deer), I figured I could make it home okay and sort things out once I got there. Besides, maybe everything would sort itself out as I went along. Story of my life, right?

Well, as anyone who has followed my current search for a job knows, whoever is penning my story of serendipity must have writer's block. After about a mile on the highway I had to pull off the road into a dingy area of East Des Moines. The car wouldn't go above 60 miles per hour, and I began to smell smoke. When I pulled into Geno's Tap at 9 am to check the car (right next to about 4 other cars...it was Sunday..."whiskey bottle over Jesus...not forever, but just for now"), there was smoke pouring out of the wheel wells. Ugh.

I called Jess and Bob, who were gracious enough to come pick me up and help me try to locate a tow truck and an open service garage. But, again, it was Sunday. Nobody was open, and the tow company wouldn't tow the car to the Volkswagen dealership without the dealer's permission to leave the car there. So...Leah had to drive to Des Moines and pick me up. I called Monday morning and arranged for the tow truck to take the Passat to the dealer, and Jess was kind enough to give 'em the keys. What a debacle.

To make matters worse, I found out Thursday night that the car wouldn't be fixed in time for me to drive it out to DC on Sunday as I begin the Ryan Hansen Marketing Tour 2006: East Coast Edition. Say it with me now: ugh. I did, however, manage to procure a relatively inexpensive ticket from Cedar Rapids to Washington (don't call it Reagan) National.

So I'm doing much better now. In fact, things are great. I'm staying with Jack in DC, and he hosted a nice dinner Sunday night with Eric Waters (former Iowa trainer who's now the trainer for the Washington Wizards), his girlfriend, a guy from San Francisco who started a company and sold Eric an expensive treadmill, and Tyler, a guy Jack knows from Maine who's in DC looking for work. Fun crowd.
Took the train up to New York to do a few interviews in the city and am enjoying it immensely. Mostly because I'm staying at the University Club on 5th Ave and 54th; way out of my league. I have to wear a suit just to walk through the place. Reminds me of my first visit to New York in 2000 when Woody put me up at the Knickerbocker Club on 5th and 62nd. Needless to say, it was quite an introduction to the city. And now, if my interviews go well, who knows...maybe I'll get an opportunity to start my career here. Regardless of where I end up, I am very much looking forward to getting back to work. I can't believe I've reached that point, but it's true. It's amazing what a few months exiled in North Liberty will do to a man.

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-23T15:30:00.000-08:00

To everyone.

The Parting of the Clouds

2006-11-19T20:24:00.000-08:00

The San Francisco 49ers are beginning to show some punch in Mike Nolan's second season in charge, beating the Seattle Seahawks 20-14 today for their third win in a row. They are now a respectable 5-5 on the year, just one game behind Seattle for the top spot in the NFC West. Frank Gore rushed for a club record 212 yards, and Alex Smith continued his steady improvement at the quarterback spot with 163 yards passing, one TD through the air, another on the ground, and most importantly: no interceptions. Needless to say, I am very pleased.

Given the torrential downpour of misery that was the Iowa Football season, watching the Niners make positive strides this year has been my one ray of sunshine. I'll be the first to say I was less than thrilled when the 49ers took Alex Smith as the #1 pick two years ago, and I felt alternately vindicated and horrified by his performance last year, which saw him garner the worst quarterback rating, um, like, ever. 40.8, to be exact, with 1 touchdown and 11 interceptions. Not a good ratio. Through 10 games this year, though, he's been solid, with a QB rating over 80 and a TD to INT ratio of 10 to 7. He and Gore are only 22 and 23, respectively. I like the future of this team.

With a defense that has improved in leaps and bounds over the past three weeks, San Francisco is a legitimate playoff contender this year, to say nothing of years to come. Now, actually getting that playoff spot is far from likely, but still, this has been a very encouraging year. For the Niners. As for Iowa...here's hoping the Hawkeyes grow a pair during their 15 bowl practice sessions and give us something to build on for next year.

Cultural Learnings Indeed

2006-11-18T12:33:00.000-08:00

Saw Borat a couple weeks ago. Thought it was hilarious. I also think the uproar it has caused is hilarious. People just do not get the joke. It is not making fun of Kazakhstan, Jews, homosexuals or Gypsys; it is making fun of ignorant and apathetic people. Anti-Semites, rascist and mysogonistic frat boys, and homophobic cowboys are the funniest because they're at the extreme end of the ignorance spectrum. The fool is always funny, and guess what America: the fool is you.

The best humor is funny because it's true, and painful truths are the funniest of all. Take Tom & Jerry. No, please, take it. Anyway, life is absurd, messy, and full of people who are not only ignorant or uncaring but cruel. Sometimes the best way to come to terms with such a state of affairs is to laugh. Borat exposes peoples' prejudices, including the prejudiced behavior they implicitly accept. The genius of the film is its tragic irony: Borat plays the fool, but it's the people who encourage or tolerate his vulgarity who come across as the real fools. It's the classic court jester speaking truth to the king, or in this case, to the demos.

Wow. Positively pathetic pair of pretentious paragraphs. Wow. What an alliterative sentence. Fear not: I've already smacked myself.

Despite the press being generated by the people upset over the Borat film, I like to think most people get it. Of course, I like to think a lot of things that have no basis in reality. Fantasy, like humor, is a wonderful coping mechanism for dealing with life's harsh turns. Case in point: the Hawks just finished off their season with a pitiful loss to the Gophers. I'm gonna cope by reclaiming the virtual Floyd via NCAA 2007 on XBOX. May even have a beer while I play. I mean, really, if one coping mechanism is good, two is better, right?

This cat just found out he couldn't vote

2006-11-07T12:37:00.000-08:00

Election Day in America

2006-11-07T12:30:00.000-08:00

Today is Election Day. Please exercise your rights responsibly. As I noted in the last post, "friends know when to say when."

Oktoberfest: Homage to Beer or End of Wedding Season Celebration?

2006-10-11T10:28:00.000-07:00

For me, the answer is easy: both. It has been a long time since my last post; much has happened, only some of which can be recounted in this public space. I'll begin by recapping the nuptials of Tim and Megan Boarini.

This was truly a momentous occasion, and I'm very thankful to the Democratic Union of Tim & Meg for allowing me to be a part of the celebration. The festivities began in Las Vegas at Ryan Long's suit in the Bellagio, moved to the Entrada in beautiful St. George, Utah for the ceremony, and finished in Vegas at Caesar's and New York, New York. From the memories I can piece together it was a smashing success. Much thanks to Sean for letting me crash on the floor of his hotel room, and Nate & Sarah, and Toran & Greta for allowing me to crash on their couch at the Entrada. Ultimate props to Shane "Living Dead" Luedke for getting me out there safely via air and land.

I've replayed the drive from Vegas to St. George in my head a thousand times...missing the In-N-Out Burger because of my backseat fascination with the Stratosphere, refusing to abandon our delicious burger dream and doubling back ten miles later, falling asleep somewhere before Mesquite, Nevada and waking up in a panic...All I can say is: Shane, you've made me believe in angels.

Brix was there and was in typical stellar form:

Pete introduced me to his blushing bride to be, Christine, the beautiful and talented author of Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women. Buy it. Taking Pete's foul and boisterous Utah exit as a preview of his Reno exploits this February, his arrest for public indecency is an inevitability; he is sure to lose his law license and be forced to draw on Christine's financial resources to avoid becoming a ward of the state. It's up to you to keep her asset pool healthy. So buy the book, help the girl (and Pete) out, learn to hook up with smarties, and feel good about yourself in the morning. That's what's the marketing folks call a "Win-Win" situation.

It's a Small World After All (Exhibit #727): Ran into my college roommate Alex Smith outside Caesar's on Sunday after the wedding. Haven't seen the guy in years...he's married with a kid on the way, buying and selling real estate in Chicago for Cushman & Wakefield, and still wearing a T-Shirt that says "Da Bears" on it. The more things change...Rock on, Alex. Rock on.

Speaking of the Bears...ouch. 6 turnovers and a loss to the Dolphins? After the debacle that was the Hawkeye game on Saturday, I hope Sean, Tim, Brent, Kevin, Nate, Ryan, Brix, et al. haven't jumped off any buildings. Haven't heard from any of them in a while, but I'll keep my fingers crossed they will pull through this tough spot. Remember guys, nothing is ever as good or as bad as it seems. Unless we are talking about Steve Alford. Then everything is always worse. I wish I could look forward to basketball season, but with Alford at the helm there is zero chance of that ever happening. He does make it interesting to read the police blotter, though. One sporting bright spot: the Niners beat the Vikes. With less than 150 yards of offense. Wow. At least I have videogame football to keep my spirits up.

Enough sports misery; I have more traveling stories. After returning from Vegas I spent a few days enjoying the night life in metropolitan North Liberty before hitching a ride with my parents to Boise, Idaho. Yep, just me, Mom & Pop and the open road. And a car full of my mom's crap. Things went surprisingly smoothly, as Mom read in the back, Dad drove, and I read a Philosophy textbook I borrowed from Sean. Nothing like a little Hume to transport your mind away from the misery of Wyoming outside your window.

Why Boise? Well, my mom's brother and his wife were going on vacation in Hawaii and since my folks are retired they volunteered to watch the kids. Lauren and Brett are their names, they are in 7th and 4th grade, respectively, have no TV in the home and are ridiculously bright. Lauren gets up at 6 every morning to attend high school physics and math classes, plays soccer after school until about 7, comes home, eats, does her homework, plays on the computer for, like, 45 seconds, than goes to sleep and does it all over again. As if I didn't already feel like a worthless bum.

But I didn't go to Boise to be inspired by my young cousins; no, I went to Boise to meet with some of my uncle's contacts in hopes they could help me break into an associate position in San Francisco or New York. Once my uncle and his wife departed, I left my parents in Boise and drove to San Francisco to hang with Steve & Victoria, Sivs & Sarah, Mike & Amy, and Yusing, and to meet with a few attorney contacts to get their input on breaking into the practice.

The meetings went well, but nobody seems to have a position for me. Advice to aspiring international lawyers: hit the books hard your first year in law school, summer with the biggest firm you can; nothing else matters. Take it from me: you don't want to be outside the traditional hiring pattern. Regardless of what you've done--passed the bar, federal clerkship, LL.M., strong academic/extracurricular credentials--the only thing that appears to matter is if you spent 3 months between your second and third years of law school writing memos to partners on elementary legal issues and going to law firm cocktail mixers. Without the rigorous legal training you receive as a summer associate, you are not even worth bringing in for an interview. Sounds crazy, I know, but that is how the game works.

And no, I'm not frustrated.

Apart from disappointments in the job search process, I had a great time in SF. Homie Doc Ben showed up and we gobbled up some sushi in the Financial District and hit the steins hard for Oktoberfest by the Bay in Fort Mason. Sing that beautiful refrain..."Good times with friends, hey they're special. Sometimes you wish they would never end. The care you show can be just as special. Friends know when to say when!" Much thanks to my gracious hosts Steve & Victoria and Sivs & Sarah for putting up with my antics. It was great to see everybody, and I'm hopeful I'll be back out there soon. With sidewalk signs like this, why would you want to be anywhere else?

Home Sweet Home. Sort of.

2006-10-03T09:57:00.000-07:00

In case you missed my last entry, or are too lazy to scroll down and read it, I have left London. Yes, sadly, Mother England was unwilling to let me suckle at her teat any longer; I am now back in Iowa, living the good life in North Liberty. Read that last clause again. It is likely the first time you have seen North Liberty described as the good life, and it will probably be the last. It isn’t that life here is bad, it’s just that it’s, well, North Liberty. I grew up thinking of North Liberty as a glorified trailer park. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but glamorous it ain’t. Oh Iowa City, shining neighbor to the south, how I pine for thee. In true Shakespearean style, I doth protest too much; North Liberty has some fine offerings indeed. Among the finest are:

1. A 46-inch Sony Brevia LCD HDTV. And DirectTV. And the NFL Package. All courtesy of Lil’ One’s boyfriend Joe. Confused? Well, Lil’ One is Leah’s current roommate, as well as her former college roommate; Joe is Lil’ One’s boyfriend. Lil’ One has graciously allowed me to take up residence in her humble abode. So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.

2. Did I mention the NFL Package? In HD? Yes, yes I did. One reference didn’t seem to do it justice, though.

3. Um…sorry, things get a bit less exciting after that. Well, there is a nice little walking trail that runs from the North Liberty Public Library south to the Coral Ridge Mall. It is the dark taint trail, to be sure, linking two suburban hollows, but it is a pleasant walk. Wow. See. This is my life now, recounting the pleasures of a suburban walk. In the blogosphere, no less. Makes me want to throw up. Sorry. This is a “fine offerings of North Liberty” list. I’ll try to be more civil.

4. The threat of a terrorist attack is far more remote than in London, New York, Topeka…anywhere, really.

5. Iowa City is less than 10 minutes away.

I’ll stop there; more than 5 would be hyperbole.

My days are packed full of excitement. (You can practically taste the irony in that sentence, I know.) I wake up around 8:30 or 9, watch SportsCenter while eating Reese’s Puffs cereal, maybe play a game of NCAA College Football 2007 on Xbox, read the news online if I can swipe a signal (which is rare), shake my head and sigh a few times at the state of the world (reserving the deepest sigh for my lot—though I admit the sigh is contrived), maybe do some kind of physical activity—but not too much—then a shower and I’m off to a coffee shop around noon. This is usually the Java House in downtown Iowa City, but occasionally I head to Corridor Coffee in North Liberty. They both have WiFi, which, apart from my caffeine addiction, is my only reason to leave the house.

That is probably the most disappointing thing about my day: I have no real reason to leave the house. I mean, I could leave the house to hang out with Sean, who spends his days much as I do but at least has a job playing piano 3 nights a week, or with Travis, who “works” as a junior high school history teacher until 3 pm, but apart from that, well, I would have to get creative, make up reasons for the sake of reasons. I am a creative guy, I think, and I have already come up with many creative (and many more not so creative) reasons to leave the house, but none of them are particularly compelling. At least not compelling enough. In fact, the not so creative reasons are likely the best ones, given that they have far more practical value. I include in this lot reasons such as “go outside and get some sunshine so your body can produce Vitamin D.” Like I said, not very creative, but certainly practical. Proper health is important, even to vagrants like me.

What is the deal? Why can’t I think of any great reasons to, in Dodge Ram parlance, “grab life by the horns”? Probably because without a job or any future commitments, everything I think of can be put off until tomorrow; even my best ideas can wait. (Vitamin D supplements are not prohibitively expensive, and I bet I get enough in my Reese’s Puffs to keep me healthy. They are fortified, I believe.) So I need deadlines. Externally imposed deadlines. Not arbitrary or annoying deadlines, mind you, but deadlines for meaningful, achievable goals. I could handle those. Those would be good.

Of course, I would need to get paid handsomely for meeting those deadlines. That is perhaps another reason why my creative ideas are not compelling enough; none of them are good enough to make me any money. Take this blog. I write it; that’s at least a creative activity. But it doesn’t make me any money. It’s a nice outlet, I suppose, but it doesn’t pay the bills. Right now, the parents do. And Leah. Pathetic. I’ve got 3 friggin’ degrees, spent nearly two years clerking for a federal judge, and I spend my days in somebody else’s North Liberty apartment watching SportsCenter. As if being in North Liberty isn’t bad enough, I have to do it on somebody else’s dime. I’ll admit it has been relaxing, but after a couple weeks I’m bored to death. This has got to stop.

At the end of this week I travel to Boise, then San Francisco, to begin the next phase in project “find Ryan a job.” Along the way, I hope to encounter someone willing to give me an opportunity to meet deadlines. Project finance deadlines are preferable, international trade, hell I’m even interested in (gasp!) corporate finance deadlines . . . anything complex, engaging, challenging, and involving cross-border transactions. That’s not too much to ask, is it? Litigation would be great if I could be assured of doing international arbitrations, but on the whole it seems litigation would limit my opportunities to work in different cities and countries. Since I’ve always dreamt of spending a few years working abroad, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass on litigation and do something transactional. To all the attorneys I might have faced: you’re welcome. Seriously, though, I’m a bit bummed about the prospect of not entering the courtroom. I like competition, enjoy presenting arguments orally and in writing, and think I could be a successful litigator. I guess in the end my desire to experience more of the world trumps my desire to kick ass in the courtroom. C’est la vie.

Goodbye London

2006-09-06T02:21:00.000-07:00

It is my last post from London. I am busy taking care of all the details one must attend to before moving out of their residence. In a foreign country. So I can't write much. But I will say that I had a great time, London. I will say that.

Thanks to all the friends who made this year so special. And to those of you home in the States--look out. I return with a vengeance.

Mick Jagger: LSE alumn, quantum anomaly, or both?

2006-08-29T12:44:00.000-07:00

Both. Last Tuesday I went to Twickenham Stadium with my Slovenian buddy Aleks to see the Rolling Stones. I am 28 years old. Mick Jagger is 63. And I get tired just watching the man strut around the stage. Amazing. The guy is insane. All in all, the concert was a good stadium spectacle, and a neat way to close out the semester before handing in my dissertation.

Watching Mick prance around the stage, I'm reminded of a story that Jack Wertzberger told me regarding an encounter between Mick and Ted Kennedy in the '80s. Jack was working for Ted in DC and Mick stopped by the office to say hello. Ted called the staff in to meet Mick and proceeded to question him on the finer points of staying fit at such an advanced age. Mick, you aren't a young man anymore, Ted quipped. How do you go out there every night and perform with so much energy? Well, Mick said, I've got three secrets: First, I do A LOT of drugs. Second, I have A LOT of sex. And third, we have these oxygen tanks backstage, and between songs I go back and take a few hits of pure oxygen to keep me going strong. Ted paused and stroked his chin pensively. Well, he said, I better get me some of that oxygen.

I appreciated the Stones much more this time than I did when I first saw them in '89. It was in Ames during the Steel Wheels tour, I was eleven, and it was the first concert I had ever seen. Ultimately, I decided to go because Living Colour was opening. I didn't listen to the Stones; they weren't on MTV. Living Colour, however, had Corey Glover, who wore awesome multicolored spandex shorts, had a long-ass braided ponytail and screamed about the Cult of Personality. To my eleven year-old mind, that was the epitome of cool. I came home with a Living Colour T-shirt and everything. Two things stand out in my mind from that concert: First, when the Stones played Honkey Tonk Women, 50-ft inflatable dolls appeared on each side of the stage. Second, some guy who claimed to be on leave from the millitary was smoking weed next to me. My mom said something to him and he was like, hey, sorry, but I'm in the millitary and I'm home and I'm at the Stones concert, so I'm gonna have a toke whether or not you have an eleven year-old or not.

Now, in 2006, Keith still smokes on stage, but unless your name was Keith Richards you were not allowed to smoke in the stadium. One woman in our section tried to light up and was quickly reprimanded by security. The section spontaneously broke into a chorus of "You Can't Always Get What You Want". Well, it would have been funny if they had, in a sitcom moment sort of way. Growing Pains funny. Alan Thicke funny. It counts. People laughed at Alan Thicke, thought he was funny. Hell, he lives a comfortable life. More comfortable than I'll live, I'm sure of that. Am I jealous of Alan Thicke? Of course. Of course I am. And you should be too.

What else is new...yesterday I went to see The Comedy of Errors at Shakespeare's Globe on the South Bank. For £5 I got a ticket to stand in the yard. Wonderful. Great performance, very funny, and you can't beat watching a play in that type of outdoor atmosphere. I may go every day until I leave. They are also showing Antony & Cleopatra, Titus Andronicus, and In Extremis.

This is a photo of the stage. It is empty; I couldn't take photos during the performance. For some reason that really pisses them off. A girl next to me had her phone go off in the middle of the show. If I would have had my machete she would no longer have a nose. Inexcusable. I don't believe in Hell, but if I did, I'm sure there would be a special place reserved there for obnoxious, inconsiderate mobile phone users. Almost makes me wish there were a Hell.

What else? I've had to say goodbye to a lot of really cool people in the past few days. That sucks. Don't know when I'll see them again. I've had a great year here at LSE and it has all been because of the great people I've met. Here's a photo of some of them in Borough Market.

I hope we can stay in touch. I'm notoriously terrible at keeping up with people (not as bad as Sean but not far off) and I am really gonna try to change that going forward. Wish me luck.

In other news, this past weekend showcased the Notting Hill Carnival. Although the origins of the Carnival can be traced to the arrival of the Trinidadians in London in the late 60s, today it is basically an excuse for people to eat Caribbean food, drink Red Stripe and trash the rich peoples' neighborhood. I live a few blocks away in Shepherd's Bush, but am off the Carnival path (not a rich neighborhood, the Bush) and so have enjoyed walking around watching the spectacle unfold without any threat to my humble abode.

Now that I'm finished with school I am spending my time trying to enjoy London as much as possible before I head back to IC on the 6th of September. Today I wandered around the National Gallery and St. James Park, Soho and Holborn, LSE campus and Oxford Circus. It was alternately a beautiful and crappy day, with rain and sunny skies fighting for domination throughout the daylight hours. I snapped this photo during one of the brighter moments.

I love the view from Trafalgar Square looking south to Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament. I will really miss all the spectacular views London has to offer. That said, I'm looking forward to catching watching the Hawkeyes kick ass this fall. Hopefully this weekend's matchup against Montana will be the only kickoff I miss.

Done Pt. 2

2006-08-25T04:29:00.000-07:00

Turned in my dissertation at 3:55 yesterday, which marks the official end of my schoolwork for the year and probably forever.
I therefore dedicate this entry to school:
It has been a good ride, school, but now we have to part. Oh, I'm sure we'll still do some of the same stuff we used to, maybe even see each other in passing every now and again, but we both know its over. Don't make it harder than it has to be. I know that the grades you give me will do little to change how I feel about you and about this past year in particular...still, though. Some good ones would go a long way towards easing the pain of our separation. Think about it. But whatever you do, know this: I'll remember the painful part of our relationship every month for at least the next 30 years. And I'd still do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Love always,
Ryan

Haircuts

2006-08-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

I need a haircut. I've needed a haircut for about a month now. I always wait until I absolutely, positively, have to get one before I go. What's the holdup? Why not just go down and get a haircut? Well, I'll tell you why:

I can live with my hair as it is. I know it may not look cool, great, or even decent. Hell, I may even look like some Eurotrash reject with an affinity for manga. (This was generally the response I received at my sister's wedding when I showed up with a rush job from some butcher in Shepherd's Bush.) But I'll tell you one thing I do know: it could look worse. And when I walk into that barbershop/salon/lifestyle boutique, I'm putting my head in the hands of a total stranger who may just go nuts and make me look like...I don't know. But something that looks much worse than I do now.

For me, going to get my haircut is a source of anxiety. This despite the fact that I (at least I think) generally leave looking better than I did before I went in. Nevertheless, there is always the chance I get a howler. The whole process reminds me of the anxiety I've felt before taking a test, or playing a big game, or getting ready to kill a ferocious dragon; the worst part is thinking about it beforehand. Once the moment arrives I'm in the zone and its all good and I come out (again, I like to think) having done well. Sometimes the sword gets a little scratched on the scales, but that is bound to happen. I'm not perfect. Anyway, despite the relief I feel each time when it's all over, I'm usually not itching to go do it again. An extra day to study for that exam? Sure I'll take it.

Thing is though, I'm the one that is getting put to the test in those situations. If I fail, it's my fault. I don't want to fail so I put the preparation time in to give me a chance to succeed. When I go to get a haircut, though, I'm putting the cutter to the test. He's the one taking the exam, but I'm the one who has to live with the results. And I have no idea how much preparation this person has put in. I don't have a regular haircutter. For me it's a new one everytime. I am not confident in the person who will cut my hair. Simply as that. That is why I wait. I know that I'm not gonna get a better haircut later than I will if I go now, and the anxiety will be the same. But every day I don't go is another day that I have a haircut I can live with. Until I can't. Then I go. I think it's time for me to go. I've grown a disgusting rat tail and thinking it's trailing behind me makes me want to throw up. So tomorrow, gross rat tail, you die. I just hope what's left of my dignity doesn't suffer the same cruel fate.

Troglodyte tales

2006-08-02T14:44:00.000-07:00

I am a very boring hermit at the moment. I have one final academic task: write a 15,000 word dissertation. Although the subject involves law, finance, and liability risks for banks, I am doing my best to make it a page-turner. Needless to say, the task is almost too much for me to bear. I've been assisted by the steadily cooling weather in London this week. Staring at a computer screen while sweating profusely is not conducive to a productive, much less an enjoyable, summer.

My only respite from the literary dungeon is music. And strong, strong coffee. Currently in heavy rotation are:

Thom Yorke - The Eraser
The Pipettes - We Are the Pipettes
Asobi Seksu - Citrus
Islands - Return to the Sea
Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere
Jens Lekman - Oh You're So Silent Jens
Guillemots - Through the Windowpane
TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain

It's not the best summer soundtrack in recent memory, but it will have to do. Remember, I still don't have a job, so I can't afford to pick up every new CD that hits the stores. Much as I'd like to. Nevertheless, I'm digging what I've got. It's a decent variety of pure pop bliss and introspection. Nothing I consider ground breaking, but some decent tunes to help me escape from academic writing. Which is no small feat.

3600 miles in a Dodge Grand Caravan and what it got me

2006-07-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

1. A belly full of junk food.

Before setting out for the east coast, my mom was gracious enough to deposit, in El Guapo's words, "a plethora" of snacks packed to the rafters with refined carbohydrates and hydrogenated oils. I will recover, but it will take some time. And I'm in no hurry.

2. Screenings of Superman Returns and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Although I only fell asleep during the latter, I could easily have done so during both offerings. Superman was a bit too heavy on the religious and dramatic father-son themes. Not enough action for a summer blockbuster. If I were doing the thumbs up or down thingy, I'd have to point the thumb sideways. Too slow, took itself way too seriously, but, well, we did learn that Superman isn't gay. And Spacey's Lex was pretty cool, too.

Dead Man's Chest? Again, I fell asleep, so I was a bit lost, especially on the relevance of the whole cannibal king Jack Sparrow part. Woke up to see Johnny Depp with, like, 6 eyes and sitting on a throne with human body parts hanging around him, and thought to myself "I must have missed something." On the whole, it was bigger, faster, more, but didn't really do much for me. I watched the old one again recently and remembered that it was enjoyable for two reasons. First, Johnny Depp's character was novel and cool. Second, Keira Knightly is hot. And that is about it. Geoffery Rush's character was pretty good too, I suppose, but at bottom it was only worth seeing for reasons one and two. And two isn't really much of a reason. I mean, very few actresses in Hollywood between the ages of 18-35 that make it into films are unattractive. I recall there being a bit more character development with Depp and Knightly in Dead Man's Chest, but really, I couldn't be bothered. Or, as they say here in England, I couldn't be arse'd. As in, I couldn't be bothered enough to get my arse (i.e. ass) out of the chair and do whatever I can't be arse'd about. I couldn't be arse'd to care about the character development. Or the film, come to that.

3. A visit to the Basketball Hall of Fame.

This was a bit of a chore. Went there initially on the Sunday following Leah's brother Cole's wedding (more on that in another post) and since we took too long to leave scenic Glen Cove, NY, home to our elegant digs at the Glen Cove Mansion, we arrived in Springfield, MA just as the Hall was closing for the day. So we drove to Boston. Hit the Hall on our way back to NYC later in the week. It was most notable for the collection of jerseys and memorabilia. Some really old stuff (did you know the first Celtics played in NYC?), some cool exhibits, but the best by far was the jersey for the Iowa Cornets, a women's pro team from the 70's. At least I think it was the 70's.

4. Sunburn and sore feet courtesy of the Freedom Trail.

In Boston we decided to walk the length of the Freedom Trail. It's a winding walk through many of Boston's most "Revere"d historical sights (oh, big ouch with that one) and seemed to cover, like, 17 miles. And sorry about the Revere pun, but seriously, there were around 50 markers commemorating Paul Revere along that trail. Overkill, people. The guy lit lamps. Anybody coulda done it. That does not entitle someone to the type of hero worship he appears to have inspired in Boston. Yeah he did some other revolutionary activities. But seriously. He lit lamps. Llamas in Peru are trained to do that. (No, I can't back that up. I heard it's true, though. I think.)

The walk was actually a nice tour through Boston. But it was hot. I saw tour guides dressed in traditional New England clothing that looked appropriate for November. I almost felt sorry for them. Almost. I don't give sympathy easily to people wearing period costumes. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever felt sorry for someone in a period costume. I hope I never do.

5. Delicious Maine lobster, scallops, clams and, um, ice cream.

After the Freedom Trail we were good and hungry, so we drove up to Maine for a dinner of, well, it's in the paragraph title. Leah ate, and liked, the lobster and scallops. The ice cream was a given. She didn't like the clams. I count the trip as a seafood success, though, as Leah is adamantly anti-seafood, and I welcome any postive step in the pro-seafood direction. Plus the food was really good. Still don't think I'd have been the first guy to eat a lobster. Those things are f'n hideous and getting their meat out is a real pain. But mmmmmm....delicious.

6. A visit to the mystical Island of Rhode

After Boston we drove to Rhode Island so that Leah could check it off her list. She has it in her head that she has to visit all 50 states before she turns 30...after this trip she is missing Vermont, Delaware, the Dakotas, and possibly West Virginia. Possibly. Anyway, after driving 5 miles into Rhode Island, we turned around and headed to Springfield to visit the Basketball Hall of Fame. See # 3, above. Then we headed to upstate New York for...

7. A visit to Mormon historical sites, complete with lectures on John Smith and his band of merry God-fearing folk.

I'll refrain from commenting except to say that Leah's family were very patient in answering my questions. I tried not to be too big of an ass, but I probably was at times. Despite my badgering, they never once crushed my skull with the sacred gold plates. I thought that was sweet.

8. Views of NYC from atop the Empire State Building, from Ellis Island, and from the Statue of Liberty.

Although I've been to NYC a few times before, I had never really done the touristy stuff. Lines were always too long and I had more interesting social engagements. This time I was pressed into action as the default tour guide. I tried to explain that having me as a tour guide was a bad idea, but I just shrugged my shoulders and started walking. I took them to see the UN, Chrysler Building, and the Empire State Building--we went to the top as the sun was setting and I got some pretty cool pictures.

The Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island were also kind enough to pose for me.

Our NYC travels also took us to the World Trade Center site, Central Park, Rockefeller Center, St. Patrick's Cathedral, Madison Avenue, Park Avenue, 5th Avenue, Radio City Music Hall, Madison Square Garden, Grand Central Station, Times Square, SoHo, Battery Park, Chinatown, and we had

9. Pasta in Little Italy.

That was good. Seemed to be some kind of festival going on. And, no, it wasn't a World Cup victory celebration. We got a taste of that in Boston, as the entire east end around Paul Revere's house was waving Italian flags and driving around honking horns and cheering.

This was more like a celebration of Italian cooking. Or something. Whatever it was, it was nice way to close out the NYC experience.

10. An up-close view of Touchdown Jesus.

Stopped in South Bend on our way back to Iowa. I had never seen Touchdown Jesus up-close. Now I have.

11. Another wedding. I'll post on the event that was the Cole Magner nuptial later. I'm jet lagged and going to sleep.